Next Man Up! Backup QB Rankings Week Seven

    We say goodbye to our good friends, and see some short guest appearances this week. Welcome to Next Man Up! Backup QB Rankings.




Next Man Up! Week Seven

Back to the Bench

    All good things must come to an end and so our guests must make their way back to the locker room and wait to be called upon once more.

Case Keenum, BUF 1-0 (5)
Most Recent Performance: 0%, 0yds

Malik Willis, TEN 0-1 (6)
Most Recent Performance: 25%, 6yds

Joe Flacco ⭐️, NYJ 1-2 (2)
Most Recent Performance: 53.8%, 285yds, 0 TD, 2 INT

Tyrod Taylor, NYG 1-0 (10)
Most Recent Performance: 67%, 11yds, 0 TD, 1 INT

Brian Hoyer, NE 0-1 (9)
Most Recent Performance: 83.3%, 37yds, 0 TD

Saquon Barkley ⭐️, NYG 1-0 (8)
Most Recent Performance: 0%, 0yds, 0 TD

Jacob Eason, CAR 0-1 (9)
Most Recent Performance: 60%, 59yds, 0 TD

Cooper Rush ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DAL 4-2 (3)
Most Recent Performance: 58.1%, 181yds, 1 TD, 3 INT

Skylar Thompson, MIA 0-2 (10)
Most Recent Performance: 53.8%, 89yds, 0 TD

Teddy Bridgewater, MIA 1-3 (4)
Most Recent Performance: 67.6%, 329yds, 2 TD, 2 INT

    We lost a whopping four QBs this week as starters return around the league. I am most saddened at the lost of our beloved Cooper Rush who put up Gold Star Performances in half of his appearances being tied for first with rookie QB Bailey Zappe. Not hoping for injuries, but if Dak decided to stop playing for awhile I wouldn't mind seeing Rush again.

The Rankings

10. Chad Henne, KC 1-0 (NR)
Most Recent Performance: 0%, 0yds, 0 TD

 Garbage time equals garbage play. Purdy and Henne both did not do much to display their "skills" and we did not expect them to. The Chiefs dominated the 49ers 44-23 and they were merciful enough to pull their starters so as to not embarrass their opponents.

9. Brock Purdy, SF 0-1 (NR)
Most Recent Performance: 44.4%, 66yds, 0 TD, 1 INT

 See Chad Henne.

8. Brett Rypien, DEN 0-1 (NR)
Most Recent Performance: 52.2%, 225yds, 0 TD, 1 INT

    I had the Jets beating the Broncos before Russell Wilson was declared out and obviously my opinion did not change. The funny thing is Rypien produced similarly to Wilson for hundreds of millions of dollars less. The Wilson-Hackett masterpiece has already failed not even halfway through the season and I'm not sure how the Broncos right this ship, but as a Chargers fan I really don't care if they ever do.

7. Kenny Pickett, PIT 1-3 (0)
Most Recent Performance: 72.7%, yds, 257yds, 1 TD, 3 INT

    Emphasis on Pick-ett this week as the QB has another THREE interception game including the game sealer on SNF against the Dolphins. I'm mad because Pickett seems to have some skill throwing the ball, but he is very Winston-esque in that he doesn't care what team he's throwing to. The Steelers are going to need to change a lot on offense by next year if they want to back up their reputation as competitors in the NFL.

6. P.J. Walker ⭐️, CAR 1-2 (2)
Most Recent Performance: 72.7%, 177yds, 2 TD

    Walker cleared injury protocol and returned to the field this weekend against the Buccaneers. After another loss to the organization by trading RB Christian McCaffrey, the Panthers had lost all hope. That was until P.J. came to play! The Panthers dominated Tom Brady and the Bucs with a score of 21-3. This is the excitingly bad team I was waiting for. P.J. gets his first gold star and according to interim HC Steve Wilks the starting job until further notice despite the return of both Mayfield and Darnold.

5. Jacoby Brissett , CLE 2-5 (0)
Most Recent Performance: 81.5%, 258yds, 0 TD

     Another safe game by Brissett and another big fat L. Brissett once again was allotted a game-winning drive and once again failed to win the ball game. They now fall way behind in the AFC and should just give [REDACTED] the rest of the year off to avoid any injuries and get him a shiny new toy in the draft.

4. Andy Dalton ⭐️, NO 1-3 (2)
Most Recent Performance: 63.8%, 361yds, 4 TD, 3 INT

    I will start off by saying that Dalton's stat line is misleading. Two of his interceptions were returned for touchdowns in a game decided by 8 points, however, they were at fault of receivers with bricks for hands. Dalton slang the rock all night long just to be let down by his teammates. No backup on my watch will go without a Gold Star Performance on a 4 TD game. The real sad part of this game is that the bird gauntlet wins again, and we must wait until the scheduling Gods declare the next challenger.

3. Jimmy Garoppolo, SF 3-3 (1)
Most Recent Performance: 67.6%, 303yds, 2 TD, 1 INT

    You would think that a solid Niners team adding an All-Pro RB would automatically destroy anything in its path, but no they don't. Or at least the Chiefs were the wrong litmus test. I believe that CMC will produce for Jimmy G & Co., but it will take some time to develop. The 49ers are known for being built for the postseason and we will likely not see the final product until late December when it matters. Solid game for Garoppolo, but I expect more with the tools he has been given.

2. Bailey Zappe ⭐️⭐️⭐️, NE 2-2 (1)
Most Recent Performance: 63.6%, 185, 1 TD, 2 INT

    Zappe came off the bench Monday night after Belichick pulled Mac Jones early in the second quarter. Zappe came in hot immediately leading back-to-back touchdown drives before ultimately fizzling out. With the benching of Jones, there is now officially a QB controversy in New England. We all want our boy Zappe to take over, but we'll see how Jones responds this week in practice.

1. Taylor Heinicke ⭐️, WSH 1-0 (NR)
Most Recent Performance: 60.6%, 201yds, 2 TD, 1 INT

    Finally, Heinicke sees the field for Washington, and surprise, surprise he wins the damn ball game. Personally, I do not want to see Wentz under center for the rest of this season. Heinicke is obviously not the answer for Washington, but he sure makes them way more competitive than Commander Carson.

New Challenger Approaching!

    In case you haven't heard, the Indianapolis Colts have benched starting QB Matt Ryan in favor of second-year Sam Ehlinger. Ehlinger is planned to be the starter for the remainder of the season, but if things go south we may see a Nick Foles sighting or two.

By Brandon McCann

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